Without You

Without you, my world could not exist. It would not be altered, but instead I would have entered another planet altogether. Where:
1.       One does not simply dance in the rain.
2.       Where camouflage/hunter’s orange become a trend…..
3.       One cannot whistle while they work.
4.       High school never ends.
5.       The music is all monotones.
6.       To have a summer like Phineas and Ferb is suddenly impossible.
7.       On the other side of the rainbow there is most certainly not a leprechaun. (People!!! We just have yet to        

       discover them!!!)
8.       Where the Library of Congress becomes the only library…
9.       There are guidelines for art.
10.   Free time is instead time you must buy.
11.   Those super freaky dreams we all have occasionally, become reality. (So… that one I recently had  

       about being a bunny…yeah, I now go by Mr. Cuddles)
12.   The viola is the only classical musical instrument… (Imagine… gasp! It seems more tragic all the time!!)
13.   The Sunday newspaper dropped the comic section.
14.   The best plot to a movie is no plot at all.
15.   There is only one flavor of ice cream.
16.   The best clothing is the kind you find at Walmart or Meijer.
17.   Sarcasm is found as often as Latin is spoken.
18.   Your favorite movie is played on loop.
19.   Hamburger Helper is a delicacy.
20.   To live in the suburbs is to live the great American dream.
21.   The best way to travel is not by flu powder.
22.   Natural beauty is a continuous flow of Botox injections.
23.   Matt Smith is not the 11^th doctor on Doctor Who. Instead, Zac Efron got casted. (Ew…)

Yet, the worst of all, you wouldn’t be there to see just how bad it really was. 

Photography

A tree.

More tree

Even more

In a galaxy far, far away...

There was this horrendous battle scene.

The winner got a weeping angel, which in turn means she couldn't ever blink again. It really was unfortunate. 

It's true!! Griffins work... :P

The view I got at Tahquamenon Falls

Yeah, I REALLY (in all seriousness) wanted to go swimming.

More of the Falls.

At left, you'll see these gorgeous yellow flowers.

The view off of the Mackinac Bridge, in a moving car. 

My baby!!!! 

Who gave me the look of.. "what the crap?" as I took pictures of her. 

Isn't she purrty?

The best model I have ever had to pose in my pictures... 

Yeah... I told her to look at those flowers... 

My bestest, and gorgeous sister/friend... 

These shots were taken over the summer.

A Growing Ache

Hey,

So I have been gone for some time…. busy with college, and everything else.  I have also been trying to develop a better me. I started this year on a downhill slope. I was terrible to many people… as I tried to help others through situations that I should have just let be. The people who I hurt through those actions were the ones who mattered most. Finally I hit rock bottom… and I stayed there for a little while. It wasn’t till about late June that I decided to become a better person than the one I’d taken on. In August things finally felt the way they should, better in many senses… I was happier.

I forced myself to look back, and try to figure out how such a slope began. It had caused an onslaught of memories… and not entirely good ones. I thought at one point, maybe I’d just hit a rebellious stage in my life, and that it was just something I’d get through on my own.

It wasn’t until one of my friends got herself a boyfriend, did I realize the actual problem. The look on his face when he saw her, and her reactions to every compliment he gave… I discovered a yearning. I wanted such a relationship. Not necessarily the compliments, but to be able to feel that way towards someone. The more I thought about it, the more I’d realized…it wasn’t a recently developed yearning, but a yearning that had surfaced.

Yeah, I’d created a gorgeous image on the outside. I’d also created a monster on the inside.  I asked myself, was it all really worth it? Was finding someone so important that I needed a fake image to do so? Was he really worth it, if he couldn’t accept the real me- unedited? If he did, was he worth losing everyone else? NO. No one will ever be worth that to me. I will never choose between one person and everyone else. The latter will always win. Too many put so much on the line for me, for me to throw them away for a fake personality.

I lost what made me beautiful on the outside, but I gained a sense of inner peace. I thank God that the monster I’d created has disappeared, and hopefully it shall remain that way as I discover true beauty is not how you are seen by others, but how what others have discovered in you.

So, I guess my message through all of this is, is that I’M BACK. Good luck getting rid of me. :P

Thanks for continuing to read…. 

My poetry...

Okay, so I'll admit... it's true... I write depressing poetry.... A LOT OF DEPRESSING POETRY. Oh well, as long as people keep reading it, I will continue to write it.

Here is one I recently wrote:

Achieving Nothing

As she sat alone, she sat in darkness.

She sat in a pool of despair,

Looking about her in a miserable air.

All that she'd accomplished,

All that she'd done. 

She found little glory, in the hatred she'd won.

Now they'd never trust her,

or care for her affections.

Nor the mildest of her in imperfections.

Hope it's okay... 

Thanks for reading.